Im a big corn dog, Im not gunna lie.

"...and mankind will always search for something raw, something true, something irresistible, why? Because mankind will always be infatuated with the impossible."

[or is it? i dont think it is]

Its been about 3 months. 3 long months from not writing in this thing. I started reading my old entries and man, I dont know if I was high or anything but, I really enjoyed what I wrote. Some weird things but nevertheless, I wrote because I was inspired or I had something I wanted to get off my chest. The summer is coming to another close, and as the school year approaches, I get even more sad. Once again, my cousins are all leaving for college again and Im still stuck in NJ. Great. Even more, half of my neighbors are gone. So thats also excellent. Just this past weekend, my parents were away and I had the house to myself, and I loved every minute of it. It gave me a chance to see who I really was without the supervision of adults. And to my amazement, I was the same person when they were here.

Why do I always do this. I write when I get emotional over stuff like this. Its amazing. But why? Im gunna make it my hobby to watch as many movies I can. Found it. Score. Dont you wish that there was a certain film that made you feel good about yourself and gave you so much hope about a certain thing. Sometimes I wish life was a movie, perfect in every way. I dont know, what to say anymore. I have one more year here and I feel like Ive done nothing significant. Then again I feel like I have done something. I think back to my four years in high school and I look at everything I did. Oppurtunities I missed out on, times that I embarassed myself and took up challenges I thought I couldnt ever do. Experiences that have taught me to be open minded about certain things but always keep true to yourself. Damn, emotions. A powerful thing. I dont know what the whole point of this thing was, I guess I was just caught up in a moment.

I want another chance to prove myself this year. I cant even begin to tell you how crazy this year is going to be. Class of 2007. This is it.

Time for some intellectual rambling

I just got done beating my Kingdom Hearts game, now I gotta play the first game, the game boy game and then Kingdom Hearts 2 just because, thats one of my goals this summer and to read 20 books, but besides that. Well, I was just thinking, isnt it funny how everything is connected in this world? Almost like a cause and effect thing. Where if you pick up an ice cream bar, you either throw it away, eat it, or give it to someone else. So many choices, but you do make one, and the result will either be wasting the ice cream, consuming it and getting fat, or making someone else happy. What motivates the choices that we make? Besides motivation, how is everything linked and connected? Doesn't it blow your mind just a little bit about how amazing this world is. Don't you feel that there are other worlds outside of our own? I don't know if thats pure fantasical ideas or pure naivette. Isn't it also amazing how light and darkness seperate. And why is darkness the bad one and lightness is always the good one?

Now lets talk about the heart. A small organ in the body that is able to pump gallons of blood throughout your body. Doesnt it blow your mind?! How we make decisions on how we feel. Emotions. Sometimes they get the best of you, sometimes you get the best of them. Both emotions, where do they spur from and why. Why is it so easy to believe in what we feel, but then people say to trust yourself and not the way you feel, because if you act on emotions, you act on impulse, therefore, it causes you to think irrational. SEE WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT?! I just made an analysis of a cause and effect. Who makes of these causes and effects. Why do things happen the way they do. Like if you knock over a glass and it breaks, why does it break. Why doesnt money pop in front of you. I dont know if Im in over my head but if you give it some thought, its kind mind boggling. To think, we are the only people on this world alive. 6+ billion people alive. How do we know that these worlds that we make up, do really exist. Or maybe like in MIB where they showed that the world was the size of a marble only being manipulated by another world. I think I might be going insane, but I don;t know. Its only 830 on a Saturday morning, but I just got a lot to say. I don't know why, I just do.

mankind, the most amazing thing ever created.

Ok, so im either over my head, or the meds are just really keeping in right now. But, just a couple of minutes ago, i thought my life was coming to an end... lol basically. Well, the thing is something happened, and i got really upset by it, but im not going to talk about it, cuz its the stupidest thing that ive ever gotten THAT upset over, but, eh, at the time, i was going delusional. it does have something to do with my kingdom hearts game, but thats all im gunna say.

well, i just wanted to note, isnt it funny how anger really does get the best of someone sometimes.

HOLY CRAP.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL DVD COMING OUT MAY 23RD. IM THERE!

<33 VANESSA ANNE H.